Where to start
Things you might want in the ceremony
Life Story - Tributes
All about the person who has died
At the heart of the ceremony, you may want an account in spoken words of the life story of the person who's died. What happened in their life, how they made you feel, what was important to them.
You can tell me about the person and I can write the words to be read out, making changes to the text until it's how you want. Or there may be friends or family members who would like to give their personal tribute.
People may have sent words in cards to you that you want to include in some way. Or the person that has died may have written words themselves. A letter you've kept, a poem they wrote.
Readings or Poems
You may already know of a poem or reading that could be a meaningful part of the ceremony. It might have been a favourite of the person who has died, or a passage by an author they liked. Or it could be that the subject matter is very apt. Or a poem or story that they would read to you as a child, or enjoy being read to them.
If you'd like help to get you started, there are many lists available online, or you can call me for suggestions.
Music
Favourite songs or even a live performance
You will probably know songs that were important to the person who has died. They may even have told you what music they would like to be played at their funeral.
If you plan to have the ceremony at a crematorium, most have a music system in place and you can choose whatever tracks you want. You might want music at the start, for instance if the coffin is brought in, or as people are taking their seats. Or a piece of music to allow everyone a few moments of reflection. It's up to you.
Even at a crematorium where you will have the constraint of a time slot, you can make use of music as you wish. It's usually possible to have people playing music live, if you want.
If you're having a burial, or a ceremony in a private space, it's also possible to use music within the ceremony. The venue may have equipment or you could provide your own.
Usually a crematorium has screens which can be used to show images or a video during the ceremony.
You could have a slideshow of images of the person who has died. This could be set to music.
If you are in a private venue indoors, they may have equipment you can use.
You may want to produce a guide to the ceremony or a pamphlet of images for people to keep.
Symbolic Actions
Whether it's a burial, cremation, memorial, or scattering of ashes, you want this ceremony to be meaningful. Perhaps you want a celebration of the life of the person who has died. Or a way to mark the changes their death brings to the rest of your lives. It's a chance to say goodbye. Saying something together or using an object in a symbolic way, can help. Like placing a flower, lighting a candle or writing a message.
Curtains can close
If you're having the ceremony at a crematorium, there may be curtains around the coffin. If so, you can choose whether these should close, when the time comes to say goodbye.
Call Blue Ryan on 07971411306
"To find the words for the loss, to say the words aloud and to know that the words have been heard."
Victoria Alexander